catch some sleep

managed to catch some sleep. i guess after wakin up, everything did not seem like it did before. shit i'm dyin to say everything , i dun wanna have it weigh down on my mind. but i cant. i know i'm being such a whiny ass. if i dun wanna say it den why blog abt it right? but i cant stand it. i feel so rotten inside. arGh` i have my difficulties. and i hateeeeee it.

i'm tryin to run away. i dun wanna remember any of it. i dun wanna have anything to do with it. but dere are certain things u just cant break off from. and it's killin me. all i wanted was a clean break. and it's been like what, six months? and i still cant break away. freak.

why why why am i so dependent on others? why can't i settle my own issues? why do i need people to step in all da time? why why why do i always choose to ignore it, to pretend it doesn't exist when i know deep down it does? why do i pretend it doesn't matter when i know it does? and da more i talk to you, da more all this becomes reality.

i am so wishy-washy i swear. back in sec skool, i cudn't handle it on my own. and u wud think now dat i'm in poly, i would grow up. no. apparently dat is not da case. things are still da same. people steppin in. people protectin me. arGh`

da novelty of it all is wearin off.

and i bet all of u are wonderin what on EARTH i'm talkin abt. oh well. u can't blame me. i have already said i can't write it down.

at least i feel a lil better now.